"All I Want For Christmas Is A Goat"

The Worst Christmas Record Ever is back on-line. As well it should be.

And I thought that my beloved pot-bellied pigs Christmas album was the nuttiest sampled- animal- sound-fx Christmas album, a cherished tradition going back to Don Carlos' Singing Dogs in the 1950s. But this one just might beat 'em all. Goats! The silly Swedes behind this album chose very traditional, usually religious songs, and perform them with straight-faced solemnity. The contrast between these o holy nights and the goats' unholy screams is the funniest, flat-out weirdest holiday novelty I've heard in a while.

I'm not posting the album cuz it's brand new and the proceeds go to charity (Yes! buying weird music is finally tax-deductible!), so do the right thing and get it here:

"All I Want For Christmas Is A Goat" (or any number of other places, iTunes, etc.)

Your Dead Pet Sings To You

Oh, so horrible, so hilarious...how can this be real?! I just discovered this on craigslist whilst looking for something else entirely. From reading the below description, you know this is all kinds of wrong, but the reality is even worse than you can imagine. 

A touching memory from your beloved little friend you miss can always be as close to you as your computer.
In our Pet Memorial Photovids,,,the pet photo that you send us will be animated to sing our original song,,,"When You Think Of Me,,,Smile !". Yes,,,your own pet will sing to you.

You may order a song-only version,,,or you can choose to order a Customized Memorial photovid for which I invite you to compose a brief script of dialogue that you want your beloved little friend to say in their video.
I will help you with the script as much as you want me to.

IN this example for you,,,,this video is a customized Memorial with added dialogue that I produced for a client. A customized version like this featuring your own script thast your pet would perform is $60.00. A song-only version with the pet just singing the song is $30.00.
This is the song your pet would sing,,,and your Memorial Photovid would be similar to this video: 



The song is acapella - let the mashups begin!

Barnyard Beat: Livestock Rock And Jungle Jams

Musique concrete for pre-schoolers: this 1995 release on the Kid Rhino label takes played-out wedding-dj oldies, and thru the Space-Age miracle of sampling, replaces the lead vocals with animal sounds. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what is meant by "avant-'tard." Despite using the same techniques as the likes of Pierre Henry and John Cage, it will never be listed in the history books along with them, no matter how well it's done. File under "Childrens/novelty" and dump in the bargain bin (where I picked it up for a couple bucks). Ah, but we know the score, don't we, dear maniacs?

It's all more clever than it needs to be. Sonic puns abound, as when owls sing The Who's "We're Not Gonna Take It" - get it: The Whoooo?; and sheep "sing" the Beach Boy's "Barbara Ann" as "Baaahrbara Ann." The sampled birds (not lions) on the version of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is a really impressive work of cut-n-paste. Great job, guys - both me and my 4-year-old appreciate it.

Barnyard Beat: Livestock Rock And Jungle Jams

1. Born To Be Wild - Chicken Wolf

2. Beat It - Mew Kids On The Block

3. Honky Tonk Women - The Old Geesers

4. The Lion Sleeps Tonight - Lion L. Richie

5. Barbara Ann - Ewe 2

6. I Got You (I Feel Good) - Sealy Dan

7. Conga - Simian Sound Machine

8. Wipe Out - Duck Dale And The Pig Tunes

9. Wild Thing - The Red Hot Chili Dogs

10. We're Not Gonna Take It - The Hoooes

11. The Lonely Bull - Cuds N Roses

12. Barnyard Medley - The Animals